I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize