well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
