he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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