she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
