Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
