Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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