just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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