no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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