I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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