Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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