The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
