i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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