is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
