I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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