honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
