marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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