your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
