If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
