btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
