I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
