Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
