So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
