Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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