And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
