Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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