I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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