Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
God, I missed his penis.
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