Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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