So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize