There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
