the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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