cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
