Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
