found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
