i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize