Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
