Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
