I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
