so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
