i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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