It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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