my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
