at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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