Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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