Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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