Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
