Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
