I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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