Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
