They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
