We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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