cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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