I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
