I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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