but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
