too bad you live with your parents still
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
