Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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