I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize