Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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