your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
