i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am one with the molecules
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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