my vag is so smooth its legendary
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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