I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
