Your tits are I can't wait for
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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