finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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