I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So much rum. So many feels.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
